My new tattoo.

I've been meaning to write this post for ages now but I've been a bit lazy on the blogging front, but with this being Suicide Awareness Week its perfect timing. 

As a child we had a van, every Sunday, my brothers, a few cousins and I, would get in the back and my dad would randomly drive around while we played wrestling, or other silly games in the back. (Imagine doing that these days!) 
So this one Sunday, on a drive, my cousin (also my best friend) and I were having a conversation about what life would be like if there was no sky...or grass...or shopping centres (we were only 8) and my brother, Daniel, interrupted and said 'Imagine there were no spacemen...'. Carly and I thought this was the silliest thing because who cares about spacemen? You can't live without a sky but you can live without spacemen. So we laughed and teased him, and then that Madness song 'House of fun' came on the radio and we all sang along. Happy days.

Anyway, roll on a million years later to November 7th 2011, the night my little brother died. We were sitting in that grim room in the hospital were the bereaved family are brought. In between hysterical tears, panic attacks and hugs, Carly said 'Imagine their were no spacemen' and we both started laughing. 

Since then that has become my fondest memory. Something so simple, when life was trouble free and perfect. So got a spaceman, as he's up there now, my very own spaceman.

I chose to get it on my arm because I want people to see it, I want people to ask about it so I can tell them my story. Some people are uncomfortable when I say how my brother died, but most people are curious and I can talk to them about it, they hear about the grief, about how we had no idea he was depressed, how he 'wasn't the type', how we were the family who thought it would never happen to us, and how heartbroken we are to never have had a chance to tell him how much we love him. 
So to me, creating that awareness and breaking down that stigma attached to talking about depression and suicide is the best thing I can do to prevent someone else feeling the pain I do everyday. 

Sorry, bit of a long post but there ya go! Anyone else have tattoo's with special meanings? 

P.s: If anyone else has had experience with suicide feel free to email me, strangely enough I enjoy talking about it. 

Want.

All images via tumblr.

Red Dress.

Just a quick outfit post. This is what I wore out last weekend. Red body con American Apparel dress. I bought this dress about two years ago but never felt confident enough to wear it as its VERY clingy. You know the way they say you get more confident as you get older? I think its definitely true. I'm way more confident about my body now than I was a few years ago even though I was probably skinnier back then. The only thing about this dress is that its very hard to wear underwear with. Everything shows, even underwear that claims to not show! (I did wear underwear though)

This is my favourite way to wear my hair, curly and messy. Unfortunately my hair is naturally very straight and flat and no matter how much product I use the curls fall out.

Also, do you like my new tattoo? I'll do a post on its meaning soon

x

Rottweiler tee

Since I first spotted the Givenchy Rottweiler tee on Kanye West I knew I had to have one. Well, a rottweiler tee, not exactly a Givenchy one. I absolutely adore this print, it looks fierce and really toughens up any outfit. Here, I have paired it with a pair of Houndstooth, high waisted, cropped trousers that I got a good few years ago from Urban Outfitters, but have recently just found under my brothers bed at home and my Topshop leather jacket.
I actually wore this out while walking my dog Hasso, who happens to be a rottie. I'd like to say it just happened to be what I was wearing that day but I wore it on purpose, as I'm a bit sad and got a little bit excited about how cool it is that my t-shirt and dog match. :)

How cute is Hasso? He's possibly the naughtiest dog ever!

Hope your week is going well.
xx

My big day out

They clearly just used Google Translate when making up their sign!

Hope everyone is well

xxx

Cycling.

Hello! 
I renewed my subscription for the Dublin Bikes this week. City bikes is such a great idea, it's only 10euro a year and is so handy, especially if you live and work in the city centre. 
There's a bike stand right outside my apartment and outside my job but I walk as I'm actually really nervous cycling on the roads! I mainly just use the bikes in the evening time and on cycle tracks, which is what I was doing here. My boyfriend and I went on an impromptu cycle straight from work the other day. I was not dressed appropriately. Sweating!
My jumper is from Cheap Monday, my shorts are Topshop and the boots are River Island.

The 30 day shred is going well. I am looking slightly more toned, but more importantly, I'm really enjoying it. Its tough but like Jillian says, that pain is what your body needs to change! This is one fitness DVD I will hopefully continue to use. I'm going to do a proper post on it at the end of the 30 days with before and after photos, but here's my progress so far. (Just six days in!)

It's my birthday this week to, so I'm going to treat myself, I'll be sure to show you what I got.
:)
x

Twitter/ Tumblr/ Instagram: @Bezems

Instagram #3

First Row: Drunken Jenga, Tapa's, Tuesday night cigar club, full fridge.
Second Row: Funny door lock, To write love on her arms, Katie Taylor, Retro curls.
Third Row: Zombie walk, Hasso has to wear a muzzle now because people think he's dangerous even though he's the most lovable, silly thing ever :(, featured in the Independent street style section, Acrobat show.
Fourth Row: Filming in our flat, me and the boy, more acrobat show, toilet fun.

My instagram is @Bezems if anyone wants a look. Send me yours to!

Zara dress.

Hi!

I got this dress in a Zara sale about 6 months ago. Its so pretty. I adore the colour and print, although it is slightly to big for me around the shoulders. This leather jacket I got in a vintage shop in the Marais area of Paris for 5euro. FIVE EURO. How amazing is that? 

I usually hate vintage and charity shop shopping as I really can't be bothered looking through so much stuff. I like simple, clean and organised shopping, were I don't have to look very hard. How lazy and boring of me. But this shop in Paris was just amazing. I got this jacket, a (faux) fur coat, a top and a skirt all for 40euro and they all kind of jumped out at me so I didn't even have to look to hard!

I have no other news, I'm so tired for some reason. I haven't even done much this weekend. I'm guessing its all the shit food I've been eating is just sucking all the energy from me. Goats cheese salad tonight. Nom. 

Also, anyone else ridiculously excited for the Spice Girls at the closing ceremony tonight!?

Hope everyone is well!

x

P.s: I just realised that this is probably the first outfit post I've done that isn't made up of all Urban Outfitters and Topshop! :)

Twitter. Instagram: BezEms

Saturday

Hi!
This is what I wore on Saturday when on a day out with my boyfriend. I love this shirt/dress from Urban Outfitters. It's a light chiffon material and such a pale pink that it could almost be paired with anything. I wore it with my favourite cropped leather jacket and black boots, both from Topshop, and a little grey jumper to keep me wrapped up as I'm still a little unwell. The never-ending-cold. 
I did a post on the dress before here were it looks way more girlie. 

Hope every ones weekend has been as good as mine!
x

Currently Loving

1.Textured Pony Tails

Since seeing Victoria Beckham with a messy low down pony tail in Brown Thomas last week I've totally fallen for it. Its quick, simple and the messier it gets during the day, the better. I've been trying out a load of different products this week to try and get the perfect look. I might do a post on them products if anyone is interested?

2. Zara Coats

Zara have done it yet again. I fell in love with every coat I seen when I was in there during the week.  The best coats always come out during the summer, but I can never bring myself to buy one so early in the year. Then come winter, I can't find anything I like. 

3. BlackMilk Swimsuits

I'm obsessed with all things astronauty. I came across Blackmilks swimsuit offering and I want it so much. I'm trying my hardest to not buy it as I'm trying to save. :(

xx

Summer time

Summer arrived. It was on Monday. Its over now but was sweet for the whole 10 hours it lasted. After work we decided to go for some canal side beers along with the rest of Dublin. 

In summer spirit I wore my brightest item of clothing. A little jumper from Penny's (Primark) which only cost 6euro! I never find anything in Penny's so I was delighted to find something so nice. It was paired with old Topshop leather shorts and Vivienne Westwood flats. 

Please excuse my hair. I try to do some damage control Monday-Thursday every week. No back-combing, no heat and loads of treatments. So I had just shampooed and treated it and then left it to dry naturally. Also excuse my big hunched back in the last photo, my boyfriend doesn't care for making me look decent in photos. 

While its been raining since Monday its still quite warm so I've been making the most of it and wearing everything and anything I can without tights. Its now or never, all these pretty dresses have about one month until they get pushed to the back of the wardrobe again. Embrace the warmth.  

xx

Instagram #2

@Bezems

First Row: Back-combing, Flower hair, dinner, JC shoe heaven at a shoot

Second Row: My 'D' bracelet, Hasso crushing me, Blessington lakes, Rufus Wainright

Third Row: Photo shoot clothes, Can't wear rings in work so I go crazy when I'm off, festival attire,  stamp from my favourite night out (WAR)

Fourth Row: Coddle, my first ever sushi (California rolls), New tattoo design, gift from my bf

Enjoy the sun

:)

Floral dress.

I went to see Rufus Wainwright last night, he played an outdoor gig in the beautiful surroundings of the Iveagh Gardens. I'm ridiculous for leaving everything until the last minute so was running late and, yet again, didn't get a chance to take any pictures. Its honestly beyond me how bloggers manage to take pictures so often!

Its almost the weekend!

:)

The Holy Grail of Hair Treatments.

REDKEN extreme CAT. 

This is my first attempt at a little review. Not sure exactly what I'm supposed to write but I feel the world (or at least the readers of this blog) should know and use this product. I'll also try not to get too into the science part of it...I tend to over explain everything! 

I started using Cat spray about 8 months ago. Once a week, sometimes twice depending on how bad I've been treating my hair. Before I started with it, my hair was weak, unhealthy, lacklustre, and basically in bits from years of bleach tints and highlights. Now, my hair is noticeably stronger, ridiculously shiny and just healthy looking! 

So how does it work? Its a protein based treatment. So, in simple terms, hair is made up of protein and this works by penetrating into the core of the hair shaft rebuilding its strength, it also resurfaces the cuticle of the hair which makes your hair smooth and shiny. As it is protein treatment and not a conditioning treatment it doesn't leave your hair silky smooth like other treatments. In fact, my hair generally feels a bit straw like after using it. So a conditioner is needed afterwards. I always try to use a moisture treatment or conditioner afterwards like Redkens 'All soft', just so my hair gets both protein and moisture. 

Its quick and easy to use, just spray it in after shampooing (squeeze out excess water first). Roots and ends. Massage it in and leave for 3-7 minute, then rinse. I use it once or twice a week. I wouldn't use it any more than that as to much protein in your hair can actually be bad for it. 

I started noticing a difference in the strength and elasticity of my hair after a week or two, and a great shine a couple of weeks after that, but I've heard people say it works quicker for them. My hair was in such bad condition though! To me its a little hair miracle in a bottle. 

The only negative about it is the bottle itself. You need two hands to spray it and it always slips out of my hands!

The cheapest online stockist I could find was LookFantastic where its £12.60 for a 150ml bottle. Mine usually lasts about 3 months and my hair is quite long!

Hope I covered everything. Any other questions just ask!

:)

p.s: I wasn't paid to say any of this or anything, I just really love this product.

Lace dress

Dress: UO, Jacket: A shop in Paris, Boots: Topshop

Hope everyone is having a good week. Mine is draaaagggginnnnggg! 

x

Style Hunter Ireland

. 

Like with every picture ever taken of me, my face looks shiny, pale and sick. I don't even have greasy skin so why does this happen? How do you all get normal looking photo faces?? Share your secrets please. 

Hope everyone is having a super weekend.

xx