What We Wore

I love this dress (top?) so much I want to marry it. Extreme, but true.

I'm not a dress up in heels kinda gal. But I was in London, it was my birthday, we were going for a nice lunch, and sometimes a pair of heels and a dress (seriously, dress or top!?) can make you feel bigger, better and more confident. So what better way to turn 30?

Thoughtful 30th Gift

As birthday's go, I think my thirtieth was pretty spectacular. 
Spent in London with my little family, in the sun, eating good food and drinking delicious champagne. 

I was absolutely spoilt with presents, cards and well wishes, but by far the best thing I got was this video my boyfriend put together for me. 
Nothing could have made me laugh (and shed a few tears) more than this...well maybe Scott from Five singing it to me himself, but whatever!

How lucky I am to have so many lovely in my life!?

If your looking for a thoughtful gift for a loved one this is definitely the way to go. 

30 going on 16

I have a confession to make.

I’ve been living a lie.

I've spent the last ten years or so pretending to be an adult. Even going to the extreme lengths of having a baby and buying a house to convince you all that I am, in fact, a responsible grown up. Now as my 30th birthday approaches, I think its time to come clean.

I, Emma Coogan, am a 16 year old masquerading as an adult. And I had you all tricked didn't I?!

But if you look closely (past the wrinkles), you can see the signs of my enduring youth.

1. The panic etched on my face as I prepare to buy alcohol: rehearsing my date of birth and star sign - just in case they ask. Then feeling as if I've gotten away with something when they usher me in without a second look. Eh hello? Don't you realise I'm underage and about to drink myself into an oblivion because I've yet to realise the one that's too many?
2. When using public transport I head straight for the back seats. Because that's were all the cool kids sit obvz.
3. Every time I go out for dinner, I order burger and chips. No matter the restaurant, setting or occasion, all I want is a burger drowned in ketchup.
4. (This should really be 3a) When at home, I enjoy beans on toast or boiled egg and soldiers.
5. I refer to my apartment as 'The Club House'.
6. I live in fear of my Mam giving out to me for spending too much money on clothes or going out and when I step back into her house I automatically revert back to teenage mode, expecting her to make me tea and tidy up after me.
7. And that constant teenager/first-job feeling of ‘I have no idea what I'm doing’ and 'It’s only a matter of time before I’m found out'
8. Let’s not mention how long it takes me to respond to 'Mama'. It always takes a couple of moments before I realise I am in fact the Mama she is referring to. Eek. Or if a child calls me Lady or Woman. "That Lady"...Huh? What lady? Me? Nah.
9. My conversations revolve more around Sabrina The Teenage Witch than current affairs.
10. I don't understand taxes or politics and worry more about what my theme tune should be rather than my pension.
11. My playlists consist of Hanson, Sisqo and mid-90s Celine Dion.
12. I enjoy hopskotch, jigsaws, swings and making up dance routines.
13. At toddler group the other day I noticed my outfit (dungarees) matched more of the kids than it did the parents.
14. And when I hear Jamie talking business, I'm like...'Wow..such a grown up'.

Part of me is just waiting for that day I wake up caring about politics, but for now I'm happy out being a teenage mom. If I could just convince my parents to pay and cook for me, I would be sorted.

So, I guess I’m turning thirty but really.. 16 4eva. XOXO

Patent shoes & Mama Stripes

Surrounded by bags, boxes and Lyla's toys I am taking a moment to appreciate where I am and the person I am here with, at this time in my life. My life is pretty sweet at the moment and I am beyond grateful for the people who have made it this way. 

Anyway, now to the actual post. Lyla got this dress as a gift for her birthday. At the time it was way to big for her, now it fits her perfectly, if not a little snug around her belly. (Baby bellies = beyond cute). It never ceases to amaze how much a baby can change in such a short space of time. She has about 10 words now, sings the Peppa pig theme tune and despite holding my hand in these pictures can take at least 8 steps unaided.

Her dress is from Gap and her adorable little patent shoes are from Penny's. I think my goal in life is to find a way of wearing patent shoes with socks myself, without looking like a twat. 
Until then I'm pretty happy with these little Zara ankle boots. They aren't leather like my 6387 other pairs of boots, so I feel like I'm progressing with being a bit more experimental sartorially. 

Although the stripes and black Mac style jacket might beg to differ.

The shorts are actually a play suit that I have decided is too young for me (THIRTY THIS WEEK!) but with a jumper covering the low plunge line you'd never know.

Emma: Playsuit - Urban Outfitters, Jumper - Zara, Jacket - H&M, Shoes - Zara

Lyla: Dress - Gap, Cardigan - Pennys, Shoes - Pennys

Did I mention I'm THIRTY this week!?!?

One Year.

Oh hi toddlerhood. You're awesome.

I turned one last week. Saw my first monkey, giraffe and elephant. Ate 3 varieties of cake. Went on a carousal. Got my very own kitchen. Wore a tutu. Ate an ice cream. Petted a dog. Stayed up late. Had a lie in. Gave my mama extra cuddles. Waved to a cat. Learnt to pull myself up on to anything. Put my dads glasses back on his face. Crawled naked. Decided Michael McDonald 'Yah Mo Be There' is my theme song. And have almost got my first ever tooth.

This getting older thing ain't half bad.

Motherhood

I'm a little late with this post, but the last week and a half has been hectic. You see, this week saw all the craziness that is a firstborn’s first birthday.

So, I am now the insanely proud mother of a one year old little girl....and holy crap is motherhood incredibly different to what I had envisaged.

I've mentioned before how awkward I was around children. I didn’t think I had a maternal bone in my body. I knew I would love my child and be a good Mam but never in a million years did I think that I'd be the type of mother I am today.

I was always a little bit selfish, very much into doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted to do it. The thoughts of losing that freedom was probably what I feared most about being a parent. That and the loneliness. Because now matter how amazing your support system is (and mine is amazing) you'll still spend an awful lot of time alone with one person, who can only communicate through tears and screams. In addition to these fears, I had people repeatedly telling me 'sleep now', 'go out for dinner', 'throw away your skinny jeans', because "there'll be none of that once the baby arrives".

But what no one tells you is just how amazing it is.

Yes, it is exhausting and scary and frustrating. And yet, I have never felt so alive and so complete. I laugh more than I ever have done and my heart constantly swells with pride over ‘ordinary’ moments spent with Lyla. Like how she will point at a dog and say 'Oof' (she's so clever) or shout 'Hiya' at strangers to get their attention.

See?! That there! That's the kind of mother I never thought I'd be. When she says 'Oof', some people might not think it’s a big deal. Except it kind of is a big deal, because I'm her mother. I created her, I gave her life. And that makes nothing about motherhood ordinary. Something I never understand until I gave birth.

Each day is filled with raising this little person, creating memories, filling her with confidence and love and building her future. That's not ordinary, that's amazing.

So to all my pregnant pals, forget all the negative information and advice you’re hearing. Your days are going to be filled with love, laughter and adoration. Your going to be somebody’s world; somebody’s hero. I can happily, proudly say that being a mother is the most special thing I will ever do.

So, to the person that makes me so proud every day: Lyla Jane, you have turned my world upside down and inside out. You light up my life. You make me so proud. You make as happy as anyone could ever hope to feel.

In short: I love you. I love you. I love you.

Week 52.2

36 hours, 23 mins and 56 seconds until B-Day.

Life is just zooming past my eyes. It feels like only yesterday I was being born and now I'm almost a fully fledged toddler.

Well, I'm sorry. You can't make me grow up if I don't wanna!

I don't even think my mom wants me to get older, she keeps saying she wishes I could be a baby for longer, so that's what I plan on doing.

So, I've reverted back to the good ol' days waking every two hours for Mom cuddles, refusing all foods (except cake, I'll eat all the cake), hanging out in my moms arms 23 hours a day, and you can forget walking, I'm staying firmly on my tush. Nuh-uh.

#Babyforever.

#Lylaturnsone

Week 52.1

Week 52 - 63 hours, 34 minutes, 29 seconds until I'm one

Its all downhill from here. 

Week 50

15 days, 9 hours, 51 minutes and 12 seconds until I'm one.

And you know what that means?

CAKE!

Mom and Dad have been discussing what cake to get, Mom says she's going to bake something healthy, Dad says chocolate. I'm siding with Dad on this one. He's a cake enthusiast, knows his stuff.

This will be my face all day...

CAKE! CAKE! CAKE!

#cake