Pregnancy #2

If you haven't already seen the news we are expecting baby number two. I'm due July 6th which makes me just over 17 weeks pregnant. 

New Years

January 27th is a perfectly acceptable time to write a blog post about New Years right!? 

Thoughts & Prayers

I'm wandering around today with a heavy heart. The past while I have watched from afar while women I admire, and many many more that are strangers, suffer and feel pain in a way I can't even comprehend. It feels unfair, and somewhat wrong to be going about daily life, writing about meaningless things, without giving my empathy, thoughts and prayers to these amazingly strong people who are struggling through what is undoubtedly one of the most challenging times of their lives.

30 going on 16

I have a confession to make.

I’ve been living a lie.

I've spent the last ten years or so pretending to be an adult. Even going to the extreme lengths of having a baby and buying a house to convince you all that I am, in fact, a responsible grown up. Now as my 30th birthday approaches, I think its time to come clean.

I, Emma Coogan, am a 16 year old masquerading as an adult. And I had you all tricked didn't I?!

But if you look closely (past the wrinkles), you can see the signs of my enduring youth.

1. The panic etched on my face as I prepare to buy alcohol: rehearsing my date of birth and star sign - just in case they ask. Then feeling as if I've gotten away with something when they usher me in without a second look. Eh hello? Don't you realise I'm underage and about to drink myself into an oblivion because I've yet to realise the one that's too many?
2. When using public transport I head straight for the back seats. Because that's were all the cool kids sit obvz.
3. Every time I go out for dinner, I order burger and chips. No matter the restaurant, setting or occasion, all I want is a burger drowned in ketchup.
4. (This should really be 3a) When at home, I enjoy beans on toast or boiled egg and soldiers.
5. I refer to my apartment as 'The Club House'.
6. I live in fear of my Mam giving out to me for spending too much money on clothes or going out and when I step back into her house I automatically revert back to teenage mode, expecting her to make me tea and tidy up after me.
7. And that constant teenager/first-job feeling of ‘I have no idea what I'm doing’ and 'It’s only a matter of time before I’m found out'
8. Let’s not mention how long it takes me to respond to 'Mama'. It always takes a couple of moments before I realise I am in fact the Mama she is referring to. Eek. Or if a child calls me Lady or Woman. "That Lady"...Huh? What lady? Me? Nah.
9. My conversations revolve more around Sabrina The Teenage Witch than current affairs.
10. I don't understand taxes or politics and worry more about what my theme tune should be rather than my pension.
11. My playlists consist of Hanson, Sisqo and mid-90s Celine Dion.
12. I enjoy hopskotch, jigsaws, swings and making up dance routines.
13. At toddler group the other day I noticed my outfit (dungarees) matched more of the kids than it did the parents.
14. And when I hear Jamie talking business, I'm like...'Wow..such a grown up'.

Part of me is just waiting for that day I wake up caring about politics, but for now I'm happy out being a teenage mom. If I could just convince my parents to pay and cook for me, I would be sorted.

So, I guess I’m turning thirty but really.. 16 4eva. XOXO

Patent shoes & Mama Stripes

Surrounded by bags, boxes and Lyla's toys I am taking a moment to appreciate where I am and the person I am here with, at this time in my life. My life is pretty sweet at the moment and I am beyond grateful for the people who have made it this way. 

Anyway, now to the actual post. Lyla got this dress as a gift for her birthday. At the time it was way to big for her, now it fits her perfectly, if not a little snug around her belly. (Baby bellies = beyond cute). It never ceases to amaze how much a baby can change in such a short space of time. She has about 10 words now, sings the Peppa pig theme tune and despite holding my hand in these pictures can take at least 8 steps unaided.

Her dress is from Gap and her adorable little patent shoes are from Penny's. I think my goal in life is to find a way of wearing patent shoes with socks myself, without looking like a twat. 
Until then I'm pretty happy with these little Zara ankle boots. They aren't leather like my 6387 other pairs of boots, so I feel like I'm progressing with being a bit more experimental sartorially. 

Although the stripes and black Mac style jacket might beg to differ.

The shorts are actually a play suit that I have decided is too young for me (THIRTY THIS WEEK!) but with a jumper covering the low plunge line you'd never know.

Emma: Playsuit - Urban Outfitters, Jumper - Zara, Jacket - H&M, Shoes - Zara

Lyla: Dress - Gap, Cardigan - Pennys, Shoes - Pennys

Did I mention I'm THIRTY this week!?!?

Baby Friendly Eateries Dublin

Third Space 

In case you hadn't noticed, going for coffee and scones is my idea of a dream afternoon out. I know, I know, I am absolutely wild. 

When treating ones self to such luxuries when in the company of a toddler there are a number of considerations to be made. Space for a buggy, a high chair, changing room, staff that wont get upset about a child throwing food on the floor etc etc. 

At least once a week Lyla and I go for lunch or coffee, so I have been sussing out the best places to sip and eat in Dublin. We wouldn't be into the usual types of eateries listed as child friendly, Nando's, Milano's etc. We like something with a bit more life and a bit more style so I thought I may as well start reviewing* the places we go in terms of child-friendliness. Obviously just an excuse to keep going on lunch dates, but whatevs. 

So here is my first!

Third Space, Smithfield. 

"Third Space is a place for local people to gather & eat easily, inexpensively & regularly, with space for creative, cultural and community activities."

We first went to ThirdSpace when Lyla was just 8 weeks old. I had joined a mother-baby group in Stoneybatter and afterwards all 8 mama's and babies headed here for a coffee. When the staff cleared a big table for us and  helped bring our buggies up the two steps, I knew I had found where I would be hanging out with my baby for years to come. 

Third Space isn't overly spacious, but it is bright, warm and friendly. It has high chairs, a changing room, and even toys for kids. The staff are so friendly and have never once given out about the mess Lyla makes. In fact they are all smiles with her and go out of their way to say Hiya back to her 14546 times. 

The decor is modern and trendy but not over the top, and the clientele is a nice mix of locals, business-y types and stylish young people working away on their Macs.

They cover all basis with the food, with sandwich's, hearty meals and cakes - something for everyone and the coffee is great, with decaf on the menu for any pregnant ladies, or breastfeeding mums. 

It gets quite busy between 12.30-2 but before and after tend to be quiet enough.

*I have no idea how to actually review, so its more just a list of places, with what they have and pictures...everyone loves a good picture. 

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Life Lessons from a Toddler

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*Silly Mummy Moment*

Getting a little bit emotional about Lyla learning to walk. Not because it means she's growing up (which, by the way, is happening way to fast), and not because parenting is involve a lot more chasing; but because of what I'm learning from her. 

Toddlers have so many traits we all aspire to as adults. Motivation, courage, perseverance; no matter how many times that child has fallen down she will get right back up again. 

Failure is not part of her vocabulary (admittedly that stretches to about 5 words at the moment!). She wants to walk, and she is going to keep on trying until she does.
Same with using a spoon. I spend an inordinate amount of time scrubbing weetabix (which is a motherf-er to clean) off her face; my face; the floor; the wall; the window... but the lack of food going into her mouth doesn't even deter her from trying. 

I was at an up styling class yesterday and I couldn't get the hang of one of the styles. (A vintage wave) 

After about half an hour of trying I was ready to give the mannequin a crewcut. I took out my phone and started scrolling through Instagram, I looked at my latest picture, the one above with Lyla walking holding my hand, and got a bit of a reality check. 

I am the worst for letting failure get to me. I have an awful habit of giving up when I find something too difficult and have thought to myself, on many occasions, that I hope Lyla isn't a quitter. Failure, or fear of failure has held me back from doing so many things I could have been great at. It is something I am acutely aware of, and have been proactively trying to fix. This quote is repeated in my head on a daily basis.

                                                                                                                                           Image via Lucy & Lola Creations

Anyway, I put my phone away and tried the style again. And again. And again and again and again, until I created something that vaguely resembles the wave. (Here it is) It was far from perfect, but I was happy enough to have overcome my difficulties and gotten the technique down. Now its about practicing that technique to perfect it. I'm not there yet, but I will get it.

And I have to thank my 15 month old for teaching me this important lesson.

This is the theme tune to this post...if you ignore Aaliyah's dating advice (and diamante choker) and just listen to the chorus. Anyway, tune. 

Tired Eyes

Teething, feeding, too hot or too cold, an over active mind, anxiety and a severe Instagram obsession have resulted in long term sleep deprivation. For 14 months now I have woken every three hours without fail, resulting in some major dark circles and eye bags. #Glam.

The elusive 8 hours sleep is but a distant memory and as a result I have tried and tested every tip and product aimed at making me look less zombiefied. Fake it till you make it...and by make it I mean get a few hours uninterrupted sleep.... :/

 4 hours broken sleep 

#nomakeupselfie ;)

(Excuse the mirror smudge)

Anyway, here's a few things that are working for me:

1. Hydration - Frequent wakings has wreaked havoc on my skin, leaving it dry and ashen looking. I have always drank a lot of water, but have recently upped my game as I've become all to aware that I am entering my thirties and would like to keep those wrinkles and pores at bay a little longer. Water flushes out excess salt from your skin leaving it brighter and less puffy. I also use an oil or serum under my moisturiser to give an extra little boost. Nuxe Huile Prodigieuse is my oil of choice and it is delish.

2. Exfoliate - Exfoliation gives new life to your skin. Removing dead skin cells and dirt trapped deep in your pores, it instantly makes your skin look bright, vibrant and smooth.

3. Eye Products - The old school trick, of chilled spoons and tea bags helps de-puff before using some products. In the morning I use Mac Fast Response Eye Cream, which is 'A caffeinated cream that de-puffs, firms and erases dark circles and fine lines'. Its good, very good. Before bed I use Clinique All About Eyes, which feels incredibly moisturising, exactly what I need after a day of blood shot, tired eyes. 

4. Make up - Mac Prep and Prime is my holy grail product. Usually it is enough to wear under my eyes on its own but on days where I'm looking particularly bad, its best coupled with Mac Pro Long Wear Concealer. Then just lash on some bronzer and I start to look a little more alive.

5. Sunglasses -  Sunglasses, big sunglasses are every tired Mama's best friend. These ones from Asos are exactly what I need. 

Summer Dressing

We have been absolutely spoilt with the weather here in Dublin the past few weeks. I think 'I'm sweating' has been my most used phrase. I wouldn't be a sun worshipper (I just get freckles) but I'm not complaining. The sun allows for bare legs and sandals, win win. 

So, here is a long overdue #whatiwore to a BBQ/going away party. I've been dying to wear this khaki Zara skirt which I picked up a couple of weeks ago in the sales for 17euro (I think). Its perfect for me, pockets because I feel a bit lost without them, and the perfect length, longer being better because I'm a mother now, I don't do short. 

Obviously because I was a guest at the BBQ it started lashing and got quite cold, despite being so sunny all week. Luckily I had my trusty black H&M mac I picked up in their sales last winter (seeing a pattern here?)

Lyla likes to get involved in picture taking. She's been working on her poses. It was Pride at the weekend so she wore her tie-dye dungaree's with her fave red patent shoes (only 4 Euro in Penny's) to show her love to the gay people of Dublin. 

Emma - Top/Skirt - Zara, Jacket - H&M, Shoes/Sunglasses - Pennys, Necklace - Cultofyouth

Lyla - Cardigan/Top - Next, Dungarees - Gift from Thailand? (or somewhere in Asia), Shoes - Pennys

One Year.

Oh hi toddlerhood. You're awesome.

I turned one last week. Saw my first monkey, giraffe and elephant. Ate 3 varieties of cake. Went on a carousal. Got my very own kitchen. Wore a tutu. Ate an ice cream. Petted a dog. Stayed up late. Had a lie in. Gave my mama extra cuddles. Waved to a cat. Learnt to pull myself up on to anything. Put my dads glasses back on his face. Crawled naked. Decided Michael McDonald 'Yah Mo Be There' is my theme song. And have almost got my first ever tooth.

This getting older thing ain't half bad.

All black

"We used to go on holidays to Dun Laoghaire", these are the words I'm going to hound Lyla with when she's older and off on a J1. Because that's exactly what Jamie and I have done, twice. We have went to Dun Laoghaire on holidays. TWICE.

This is something I heard none stop as a child, but my mam got to go somewhere a little more exotic, they went to Bray.

We had planned on going further. Like on an actual holiday, but decided to be responsible grown ups and save the money. Plus we prefer to holiday in September. ;)

Anyway, we went out on our little mini break. As in, got dressed up and went out. This is a bit novel for us. The plan was dinner and drinks. A typical grown up affair.

Dinner happened, but as per usual we ate too much. (Totally recommend The Hen House - food is delish) 

So a walk along the harbour after dinner was called for. Obviously followed by a Teddy's ice-cream. And by that stage we were too tired and cold to go out so we were tucked up in bed by 10.30. 

One day we might get our lives back, until then I'm pretty happy with my glass of wine on the sofa and falling asleep before the film ends. 

(....And this is what I wore on our night out)  

Culottes, top, shoes - Pennys, Jacket - H&M

Motherhood

I'm a little late with this post, but the last week and a half has been hectic. You see, this week saw all the craziness that is a firstborn’s first birthday.

So, I am now the insanely proud mother of a one year old little girl....and holy crap is motherhood incredibly different to what I had envisaged.

I've mentioned before how awkward I was around children. I didn’t think I had a maternal bone in my body. I knew I would love my child and be a good Mam but never in a million years did I think that I'd be the type of mother I am today.

I was always a little bit selfish, very much into doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted to do it. The thoughts of losing that freedom was probably what I feared most about being a parent. That and the loneliness. Because now matter how amazing your support system is (and mine is amazing) you'll still spend an awful lot of time alone with one person, who can only communicate through tears and screams. In addition to these fears, I had people repeatedly telling me 'sleep now', 'go out for dinner', 'throw away your skinny jeans', because "there'll be none of that once the baby arrives".

But what no one tells you is just how amazing it is.

Yes, it is exhausting and scary and frustrating. And yet, I have never felt so alive and so complete. I laugh more than I ever have done and my heart constantly swells with pride over ‘ordinary’ moments spent with Lyla. Like how she will point at a dog and say 'Oof' (she's so clever) or shout 'Hiya' at strangers to get their attention.

See?! That there! That's the kind of mother I never thought I'd be. When she says 'Oof', some people might not think it’s a big deal. Except it kind of is a big deal, because I'm her mother. I created her, I gave her life. And that makes nothing about motherhood ordinary. Something I never understand until I gave birth.

Each day is filled with raising this little person, creating memories, filling her with confidence and love and building her future. That's not ordinary, that's amazing.

So to all my pregnant pals, forget all the negative information and advice you’re hearing. Your days are going to be filled with love, laughter and adoration. Your going to be somebody’s world; somebody’s hero. I can happily, proudly say that being a mother is the most special thing I will ever do.

So, to the person that makes me so proud every day: Lyla Jane, you have turned my world upside down and inside out. You light up my life. You make me so proud. You make as happy as anyone could ever hope to feel.

In short: I love you. I love you. I love you.